Just me having a go at myself, don't worry.

I'm not a very nice person. Last night I snapped at my sister for using the better TV when I wanted to use it. I felt horrible afterwards but my stinking pride wouldn't let me say sorry. I feel ashamed with myself.
Another not so appetising feature of my personality is that I quite easily feel jealous for such petty things. I don't even really want to suggest what I feel jealous about since it is so meagre and unimportant. You have to realise that I don't write these posts for sympathy or publicity. I write them to explain things to myself. It's like confiding in someone and getting it out in the open. Let's call this my online diary. Well here goes, laugh all you like.
My best friend, a lovely person because I know you're reading, is called Ashleigh. She has a great loving family. Now this sounds bad because don't get me wrong. I have a great supportive family. I love them to pieces. There just isn't enough of them. This makes me sound selfish and absolutely naive. Because yes I know there are many people out there with abosutely no one. And yes, I am grateful for what I have. But Ashleigh's family are so close. She gets wonderful comments on her facebook pictures. My family don't do that to me. I don't need their comments to reassure me. I'm not attention seeking. It just makes you feel better sometimes. Remember as I said before, this is not a post to get people to comment my pictures.
I could carry on by saying how she sees her Grandma (Nana) all the time. I hardly ever see mine, I don't even know hardly anything about them. But I don't need to carry on anymore because I'm demoralising poor Ashleigh. Don't feel bad, I'm just stupid.
So, it's the new year tomorrow, and I might add my 16th birthday. A fresh new start. I can sort out my flaws and handle my attrocities.

I said that last year.

People don't understand and never will.

The reason I have spent so long away from this blog is because I hate the outlook of it. I hate the way it's so lonely because no one comments or even reads it. But what I do like about it is that I can spill my true feelings somewhere and no one can judge it.
I think sometimes in life you've gotta bring yourself down a little bit. I was living the high life, oh Christmas, you get presents, everything is fine. La, la, la. No that's just a holiday to drown your fears in festive drinks. I more likely drowned my self in saturated fats. The point I'm trying to make is that, people still hate me no matter how I do my hair or how much weight I lose. People still think I'm the annoying little girl who doesn't know anything.
Why is everything so complicated? Why do I like someone (as a friend I might add) but they keep hurting me? Why do I let them? They think they can use me for pokemon cards or whatever fad they're going through. But they don't understand the concept of true friendship. He moans on his facebook about people 'leaving' him and not staying friends with him. I have never 'left' him. I'm always there listening to his continuous moaning about some slag who he's obsessed with or his inevitable nagging for gifts that I can't or won't afford.
Well it's time to change.
No one will get through to the wall I'm putting up.
(That was a metaphor btw.)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ~

I'm watching xfactor, I haven't wrote on here in ages, bad habit I guess.
I guess I grew on twitter, follow anyone? www.twitter.com/bethodonnell
I have a fab new phone and I'm still in the stage where it's a novelty.
Christmas, ah what shall I say about it. It's my favourite time of year. I love the lights, the decorations, the music, the spirit and well obviously the presents. But y'know I'm not the type to crave about them and it's certainly not what Christmas is all about. I'm not religious or anything but I think that Christmas is a time to be happy and I certainly am. I just love the thought of it. I even love my Mars advent calendar. AHHH!

Happy Christmas everyone. x

2 weeks til Christmas, 3 til my birthday. (1st Janurary) Oh I will be 16!