Just me having a go at myself, don't worry.

I'm not a very nice person. Last night I snapped at my sister for using the better TV when I wanted to use it. I felt horrible afterwards but my stinking pride wouldn't let me say sorry. I feel ashamed with myself.
Another not so appetising feature of my personality is that I quite easily feel jealous for such petty things. I don't even really want to suggest what I feel jealous about since it is so meagre and unimportant. You have to realise that I don't write these posts for sympathy or publicity. I write them to explain things to myself. It's like confiding in someone and getting it out in the open. Let's call this my online diary. Well here goes, laugh all you like.
My best friend, a lovely person because I know you're reading, is called Ashleigh. She has a great loving family. Now this sounds bad because don't get me wrong. I have a great supportive family. I love them to pieces. There just isn't enough of them. This makes me sound selfish and absolutely naive. Because yes I know there are many people out there with abosutely no one. And yes, I am grateful for what I have. But Ashleigh's family are so close. She gets wonderful comments on her facebook pictures. My family don't do that to me. I don't need their comments to reassure me. I'm not attention seeking. It just makes you feel better sometimes. Remember as I said before, this is not a post to get people to comment my pictures.
I could carry on by saying how she sees her Grandma (Nana) all the time. I hardly ever see mine, I don't even know hardly anything about them. But I don't need to carry on anymore because I'm demoralising poor Ashleigh. Don't feel bad, I'm just stupid.
So, it's the new year tomorrow, and I might add my 16th birthday. A fresh new start. I can sort out my flaws and handle my attrocities.

I said that last year.

People don't understand and never will.

The reason I have spent so long away from this blog is because I hate the outlook of it. I hate the way it's so lonely because no one comments or even reads it. But what I do like about it is that I can spill my true feelings somewhere and no one can judge it.
I think sometimes in life you've gotta bring yourself down a little bit. I was living the high life, oh Christmas, you get presents, everything is fine. La, la, la. No that's just a holiday to drown your fears in festive drinks. I more likely drowned my self in saturated fats. The point I'm trying to make is that, people still hate me no matter how I do my hair or how much weight I lose. People still think I'm the annoying little girl who doesn't know anything.
Why is everything so complicated? Why do I like someone (as a friend I might add) but they keep hurting me? Why do I let them? They think they can use me for pokemon cards or whatever fad they're going through. But they don't understand the concept of true friendship. He moans on his facebook about people 'leaving' him and not staying friends with him. I have never 'left' him. I'm always there listening to his continuous moaning about some slag who he's obsessed with or his inevitable nagging for gifts that I can't or won't afford.
Well it's time to change.
No one will get through to the wall I'm putting up.
(That was a metaphor btw.)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ~

I'm watching xfactor, I haven't wrote on here in ages, bad habit I guess.
I guess I grew on twitter, follow anyone? www.twitter.com/bethodonnell
I have a fab new phone and I'm still in the stage where it's a novelty.
Christmas, ah what shall I say about it. It's my favourite time of year. I love the lights, the decorations, the music, the spirit and well obviously the presents. But y'know I'm not the type to crave about them and it's certainly not what Christmas is all about. I'm not religious or anything but I think that Christmas is a time to be happy and I certainly am. I just love the thought of it. I even love my Mars advent calendar. AHHH!

Happy Christmas everyone. x

2 weeks til Christmas, 3 til my birthday. (1st Janurary) Oh I will be 16!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ~

A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHLEIGH! xx

..

When I saw everyone at the college open evening, I thought I'm gunna be knowing these people in a year. I'm gunna be making friends with these people. But then I realise it's all a pipe dream. I won't make friends, I won't get all A's, I won't look my best. I'll just be the same underconfident loser I always was and will be. I felt ugly and terribly fat. And yes I know I'm not fat and no I don't have an eating disorder. I simply do not have enough courage to have one. It would bring too much attention and the pain of hunger would seriously not agree with me. Also I couldn't bring myself to throw up because it would damage my teeth. Which seem to be the only decent part of my body. Well until the surgeon wrecked them.

Exam week this week, god almighty I totally failed geography.
I've ran out of interest to write things lately. I'll be back soon.

WARWICK~

So I'm back from Warwick...
I had a really good few days, swimming and going in the sauna and steam room. Haven't been in those two for years. It's funny how I seem to like not being able to breathe and sweating loads. Maybe it's the thought that it's good for your skin. Didn't seem to make a huge improvement though.
The second day we visited Warwick castle. Seems the obvious choice. Wasted half an hour of my time watching some bozos hit each other with spades. Then walked up 500 steps and took some photos. Had a good day cept for the fact I had to have a soggy sausage roll for lunch. (I still can't eat much yet.)
Third day we went to Twycross zoo. At first I thought WHY THE FUCK have they got some many fekkin' momkeys. Then I found out it was the world primate centre. Ahhh. Had my faves, orangutans! Got about 70 photos. Now you might find that boring, but I don't so there. Least they're not 50 photos of the skyline or some earth. Got quite a few of my dad pulling faces. They can all be seen on facebook!

Clide on a pumpkin!

OMGGGGGGG ~

I am back from hospital. I am going to have a complaining session cos I'm in paiiiin.
My poor little handy hurts from having the needle thing (can't remember what it's called - canula or summat) stuck in it, my throat hurts from having the breathing tube stuck down it and ffs my mouth hurts too. That was expected though.
When I woke up I thought I was dreaming, I was asked did I know where I was and I said "the childrens ward" LOL. Sooo wrong. But I couldn't even see anything and I then I got my sight back but I couldn't read the clock or anything.
The really bad thing was that my temperature went down to 35 degrees and they kept shoving the thermometer in my ear, and they wouldn't let me back on the ward til it went up. Then with the my painful throat they made me swallow some very large pills. AHHHHHH, I have to take 4 every 4 hours. THIS IS TORTURE.
I also have this stupid thing STUCK to the top of my mouth IT TASTES LIKE BLEACH. I have to have it on for 10 DAYS. AHHHHH. It makes me feel sick. I cannot eat anything expect weetabix, custard, jelly, cold soup and yoghurts. My sleep and eating patterns are messed up and I'm really weak from not eating anything. I'm absolutely starving.
So yeah, the last two days weren't so good.
I'll stop my complaining there. I'll complain more some other day. Yeah.

DEAR EVERYONE AND ANYONE I EVER OFFENDED.

If anyone reads both blogs then you will have read this twice. I'm sorry but today I really can't be bothered writing for both.
I speak my mind. I speak the confusing swirls of thought patterns travelling around in it. Sometimes it's too hard to explain so it doesn't come out how I mean. And sometimes I say things that should never be said, that should never leave my brain. I can't explain my thoughts, my mind, my wellbeing. But I can explain that whatever I say, I will probably forget I said it, and I will think something else totally different the next day.
For example on my Tumblr account I may have put: "My friends are immature and annoying." I mean WHY THE FUCK did I put that? Ok, they are immature, BUT I AM THE MOST IMMATURE OUT OF THEM ALL. Ok, they might be annoying BUT I AM THE MOST ANNOYING OUT OF THEM. I try to change my ways, I try to be less grumpy, less annoying, less silly, less immature, less corrosvie, less TOTALLY IDIOTIC. But I always slip. I don't know why or how, but it's impossible, it's my makeup, how I am.
So dear my friends particularly Ashleigh:
I'm sorry for any bitchy unfeeling comments. I'm sorry for annoying you. I'm sorry for being persistent, I'm sorry for being moany, I'm sorry for being me, I'm sorry for being alive, I'm sorry for anything I could possibly do to annoy you in any way.
Cos I forgot I wrote it and I shouldn't have, I don't even think that no more, I just thought it that one day when one of you probably dismissed something I said and did something else. That's another thing I gotta work on, insecruity.

This would just be awesome if it was my window.

DUDEEEE~

Does Charlie Walker still read my blog? I doubt it. I wanna know, just curious.
I'm addicted to the F triangle chord on the guitar, I'm also addicted to Farmville on facebook.
I feel a little rejected atm, like everyone has found their place in life and I'm just hovering on the edges. Some of this stuff I just come out with at random (it's all true though.) And I feel like putting it as my facebook status? But people will think I'm weird. I come out with all these metaphors and shit. Why can't I be like this in english man?
My mum said we could go to Jamaica, Cuba, Kenya or Bulgaria for next years holiday? Wherever we go can it really beat Mexico? Best holiday of a lifetime. But I suppose if I go to Jamaica I can shout, "RASTA MAN!"
I'll go now, cos I'm like rambling.
Dudeee.

I'd love it if my room was like this.

WHAT'S THERE TO LOOK FORWARD TO?~

Life is so boring at the moment this is why there is lack of blogs.
Been to the doctors today, back again next week so they can take my BMI, weight, blood pressure, height and shit. It's always the same, height is really high, and weight is low. I need to do some exercise so the nurse doesn't go "WOAH" when she weighs me. My mum's taking me and my sister swimming tonight anyway.
I'm slightly nervous about guitar this week due to the fact of different strings, I think we bought the wrong ones and when I play it, it sounds so dodgy.
My friends are still in a mood with me, just because I refuse to go to one of their parties. I won't be missing much, cinema is a normal everyday activity, not something you do for a 16th. Boo yeah.

This actually applies to me, I feel ugly atm. 

OMG I'M A HYPOCRITE~

I hate it when people go all angry when a certain celebrity goes out with another. (YES I AM GUILTY!) Everyone is going crazy about Rob Pattinson dating Kristen Stewart. I don't actually know if this is true. (I hope it isn't.)
People go the extra step saying they hate her and that she's ugly. She is not ugly, you are just jealous. (I'm not guilty of this one guys.) You also don't hate her, you don't know her, she hasn't done anything to you.
Also since when was Rpatz yours anyway? You probably never will meet him and certainly never go out with him, so get it into your tiny heads that HE HAS A LIFE and is not going to date some teenager that is way too young for him.
(BTW SHE HAS A MAN VOICE!)
Sorry, I really couldn't resist, I'm a hypocrite, I know. Sadly.

But he is good looking!

WE AT THE HOTEL, MOTEL, HOLIDAY INNNN~

Last night was truly awesome. Me, Ash and Amy went to a party in this nightclub and we got to listen to some brilliant tunes and danced the night away. Even though I looked like a giant from wearing heels. (I'm already 5 foot 9.) My fave song atm is Hotel room (or whatever it's called) by Pitbull. Not my genre at all, but hey ho.
Then I slept at Ashleigh's for like the 3rd week in a row or something and we cleaned out the guineas, walked Copper on Brayton Barf and had quite a good laugh.
That's it really, had my HPV (cervical cancer) jab on Wednesday, it hurt but my arm's better now.

Dear Ashleigh,

Btw there's no daily update cos I like don't go to school at weekends. (Who does?)

CRAZY NEW SHIT ~

Perfection will not come. But I still believe one day it might make an appearance.
When you delete someone on facebook, WHY NOT TELL ME FIRST. Gawddd, what have I done this time?
Btw I have friends again. I've totally forgiven Amy Barnett, I think she's nice and I'm not. The other Amy.. weell... And ofc Ashleigh is lovely too. (sh)
I never told you lot about daily updates. There's this goofy freak girl at my bus stop who does something weird every day. Today she lined conkers up on the road so a car could run over them. She also stuck her head in a hedge. You'll be getting daily updates daily. (Apart from weekends.)
Maybe I should change my life..

Crazy new shit please?

MONDAY'S ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING ~

Monday's always have to kill the great weekend. Burnt another massive hole in my bank account but who cares.
Had a really bad day, me just being a little paranoid but everyone seems to be against me. Even little comments like someone saying you to me instead of saying Beth. It makes me feel unwanted and boy has that feeling been over used today. I fell out with my friends, not their fault but wasn't really mine either. And I really don't want to bitch over the internet but when you ask someone on holiday you expect to get asked back - ok I wasn't expecting Edinburgh but c'mon I don't even get to go to the meal. Well me thinks I might as well go the whole way as to not go to the other party either. Who needs it. I'm off anyway. My dad says their tight arsed. Sometimes I agree. I mean it's not her fault, but my parents always do what's right for me, not their bank account.
Had a great night out with the Barlow Crew, was a bit cold in just a t-shirt though.
I have purple hair.

WHAT IF I'VE FORGOTTEN? ~

Been asked to play football for the school tomorrow. AHHH, I haven't played in a few years, what if I've forgotten how to play? I haven't even got boots ffs. I need to dig out my gloves. Yes, I'm the trusted goalie. Well actually, I could be in defence.
I'm kinda looking forward to it cos I haven't played in a while, and quite chuffed people actually think I'm good enough to play but what if I fuck it up? They certainly won't ask me again.. Meh, I've definately forgotten how to do goal kicks. We better win y'know.
Even my best friendlings are coming along to support me. I'm glad they actually care. Lets just hope they don't put me off.
I'd better shave my legs tonight. LOL.

Lets hope so.

POINT PROVEN BABY ~

If some people had it their way, everyone would go round wearing black, white and grey. Well, I'm sorry but that's just not how I see it, I see bright colours. That's what I love, there's just no room for boring colours in my world.
So when I went on the little school trip with a purple coat, lime green pumps and pink socks, Amy Tomlinson (one of my best friends) was like "I'm suprised you can pull that off."
Well yeah baby, I can pull it off, but you seriously don't pull off the middle aged look. Catch that.
She even plays golf.

I play guitar.

Point proven.

That's why I love parrots - their vibrant colours.

BOLD MEANS TRUE ~

01. You’re currently confused about someone’s feelings for you.
02. You have been in a serious relationship before.
03. You own an iPod of some sort.
04. You do not like your sibling’s girlfriend/boyfriend.
05. You drink too much alcohol.
06. You have been to the Olive Garden.
07. You have taken medicine of some sort this week.
08. It is really cold in your house right now.
09. You are extremely dependent on others.
10. You do not like to express your feelings in front of others.
11. You ate a lot of food today.
12. It doesn’t take much for you to cry.
13. People consider you a sappy sort of person.
14. Someone in your family is rich.
15. You have been to Disney World or Disneyland before.
16. You hate when people constantly talk about themselves.
17. You are a good listener, but you hate complainers.
18. Someone has called you for a serious medical emergency before.
19. You have had a serious surgery.
20. Your house has a spare bedroom.
21. Your house is old.
22. You have at least one cousin under the age of three.
23. You have never held a baby before.
24. You can’t handle toddlers.
25. You have a painting in your room.
26. You have been to Canada.
27. You have been to Mexico. << YEAH BABY!!!!
28. You love cherry flavored lollipops.
29. You celebrate Easter.
30. You observe Lent.
31. You are Catholic.
32. You do not believe in God.
33. Religion is not important to you.
34. You want to have a small family one day.
35. You would rather have more sons than daughters.
36. You have more aunts than uncles.
37. You hate being too cold.
38. You currently are way more tan than everyone else.
39. You wear shoes in your house.
40. Your parents are clean freaks.
41. You are more messy than clean.
42. You are currently angry at someone.
43. Patience is so not a virtue to you.
44. Your desk is extremely clean.
45. Your bed sheets are either blue, green, black, or white.
46. When you hear « Black & White » it reminds you of Katy Perry’s « Hot’n Cold » song.
47. You have no clue what that song is.
48. You think rap artists are completely pathetic.
49. You are glad George Bush IS out of office.
50. Politics are boring to you.
51. You take a vitamin (almost) daily.
52. You feel like you are sick often.
53. You hate throwing up.
54. You think it’s gross when people set food down on their desk at school with no napkin.
55. You also find it gross that people sit on top of desks.
56. You are now cringing at the thought of someone’s food where someone’s ass was.
57. You love getting bubble baths.
58. You do not like chocolate at all.
59. You are allergic to nuts.
60. You have been stung by a bee before.
61. You have been to the emergency room before for something.
62. One of your parents is 50 or older.
63. You are the baby of your immediate family.
64. You hate broccoli.
65. Cooked carrots are good, though.
66. You go on tumblr too much.
67. You are really comfortable right now.
68. You like witty t-shirts.
69. You are a major fan of underground bands.
70. You have been on an airplane before.
71. You are not afraid of heights. 
72. You consider yourself paranoid.
73. You have had a panic attack before.
74. The thought of being old and alone bothers you.
75. You would choose the elderly over children.
76. You feel like you’re living in the wrong decade.
77. You have smoked weed before.
78. You think it’s way too cold outside right now.
79. You love the thought of sleeping in tomorrow morning. (but I won't get to.)
80. You would rather go to bed early and get up early.
81. You feel like the early bird catches the worm.
82. You are a big breakfast eater.
83. You are currently suffering from the common cold.
84. You are craving something salty.
85. You have been in a car today.
86. There is something plugged in near you.
87. You have heard of the TV show “Private Practice”.
88. You do not like medical television shows.
89. You prefer horror to comedies.
90. You adore Leo & Kate.
91. You think high-waisted pants look good. (on the right person.)
92. You hate cheesy movies.
93. You enjoy camping out.
94. Bugs don’t bother you. (errr)
95. You do well in school without trying.
96. You are extremely jealous of someone currently.
97. You feel like you have changed a lot from 08-09.
98. You like energy drinks.
99. You like italics.
100. You know the entire script of Mean Girls.

ROAMING THE COUNTRYSIDE ~

I thought I didn't have anything to say but read Ashleigh's ranting blog, so yeah maybe I should repeat her. Nah, I'll write it in my own way. I don't need to rant, maybe I'm laid back. Well at these things anyways.
Amy Tomlinson has a new boyfriend who is frankly a bit of a dick, she ditches us to spend time with him. Ok, tbh it's not a devastating loss but it's the thought that she'd rather spend time with him, when after all one of them is gunna dump the other sooner or later - so why not focus more time on your friends? Friends are for life..
We're all going to the seaside tomorrow (with school I must add.) But it will still be fun, and I know I'm being a little silly cos I'm wearing my jeggings with lime green pumps, but oh well you gotta look good. I'm taking my camera so hopefully I'll get some good snaps.
That reminds me I got my developed Mexico photos back, they look so cool. So I'm sticking them in my little home made photo album soon. Can't wait.

I can so imagine this as Ashleigh and I leaping across the countryside whilst we're in Hornsea tomorrow.

DOWNTRODDEN ~

I feel worn out, I got up so early for orthodontists yesterday and went to bed late (rave at the Dyso's!) But I slept quite late and I've just had a kip so why am I totally out of it? I just wanna curl up in a ball. Nothing interesting has happened to me since my last post. I didn't even stick to my chair from the Derren Brown program! My legs did feel like lead though.
I should be doing my coursework but gay Ashleigh didn't get me any A3 paper, so now I will miss the deadline. Nice to know you care! Ugh, I'm really dreading Monday, I have to peform my speech and I really don't wanna, I know nothing bad is gonna happen but I just can't do it, but it's better to get it over and done with I suppose. Mondays are the worst day of the week without the extra pressure. I hate Mondays. Gawwd, I hate feeling this tired. I think the bacardi breezer has like burnt my tongue off or something..

So maybe I can change my speech so I get an A*? Unlikely.

WHAT IF I'M ALLERGIC TO ANASTHETIC? ~

I have to have an operation. On my gums, how silly is that? But it's either that or a false tooth. I'm gonna have to take a week off school and will be in bed not able to eat or drink. I've never had an operation before, they're gunna put me to sleep and everything. Omg, omg omg. I'm scared. Very.

Somehow sticking my head in the oven won't solve my mouth problems. (ps it's not actually me.) Lol.

OH YEAH ~

Got the rest of the Twilight books, I cannot wait to read them! I also got my prefect badge today, it's awesomated, I rule the school! Another thing I got? My school photo LOL. Only a preview, I'll pop it on when I get the real version.
Don't really have anything interesting to say today guysss, so I'll leave you with my new saying:

OH YEAH! (said in an American accent, LMAO.)

DAMN AND BLAST ~

This is my 102nd post, I was waiting for my 100th so I could do a cool picture saying HAPPY 100th POST or something gay like that. Damn it, I did this with my twitter posts as well. God damn it I spoil everything.
Dread and terror enveloped me today, I have to do another presentation for English. Damn you all. I got a B for my last one, why can't I leave it at that? It's terrible, I will go red, shake and breathe weird. I will speak fast and get a lower grade then before. I had to pick a controversial topic, I thought "This should be easy for me, since I'm so opinionated!" But no, nothing I feel strongly about is suitable without saying a few swear words. So, I'm stuck with Capital Punishment (I'M FOR IT!!) and loads of people are doing it (fuckers.) But mine's going to be the best even if I do get grey hairs thinking about presenting it. What if they all throw bricks at me?

KIDDERS ~

Today has been a good day, got an A* in Geography coursework, yeah baby! Had a laugh, sucked at maths and peed on the toilet (as you do).
I posted too many things on my Twitter, I hope you don't mind.
I went crazy on msn to Ashleigh.
I earned medals on Farmville.
So that's that kidders, I'm off to badminton now, cos I need to have some fun.

LIME GREEN'S IMPORTANCE ~

I'm so excited still! (Well it has only been a few minutes since the last post!) But for christmas I'm getting a Lime Green Dell Laptop, that's not the reason I'm excited though. I'm excited because for my birthday (which is a week later, January 1st) I'm getting a new shiny black unusual shaped semi (electro) acoustic guitar! I think I may keep a collection because I have my current one, and I want one of those wacky pointy electric ones from the 80's. Oh. My. Gosh. I need them all now. I love playing the guitar. I need a Lime Green guitar, and a Lime Green pick (plectrum.) Oh yars  I'm also getting my bedroom painted Lime Green. You may have guessed it's my fave colour.

SMILE ~

Been busy all weekend with my cousins from London, it was a great laugh. I had a total laughing fit today when I found a photo of Robert Pattinson that I thought looked like Becca. She was not pleased.
Not else much to say really.. Only can't wait for the future, since there's New Moon film out, Ashleigh's party, Amy's party, York x2. There's so much, I can't wait. My life is going through a happy phase, which I'm so pleased cos last month was a complete depressive shit hole for me. NEWSFLASH: Beth is happy! Smile!

Think I'd better keep what I'm doing then!

HOO-HA~

Bit of a hoo-ha today! I have absolutely no idea what to do at college. I really wanted to go to York, but can't get there. What a downer. So now, I think I may take French AS level, English Lang AS, Media Studies, and English Lit. I actually hate English but I wanna be a journalist. Yeah I know my blog posts are bad, but sometimes I actually cba.
Had a lot of laughs today! My guitar lesson yesterday was great, but need new strings. What a bummmmmmer.
I kinda feel like being creative, but don't know what to do? It's too early to do my leavers book. And No Way Will I Do My Graphics Cw!

BLAH BLAH (FUCKRRR) ~

There's stuff going round my mind that I feel like saying, but I can't. I completely broke down yesterday, my mum thinks I've got some kind of depression. Okay, I maybe depressed but I don't have depression, it's just an unhappy phase, I need something to look forward to. I need to get away from depressing stupid school.
In the summer holidays I was happy all the time, I had no worries, especially when I was in Mexico, oh what I'd give to go back..

SPACE ~

Personally I believe that the stars are beautiful, I could sit there for hours staring at their pure beauty. The moon amazes me, the fact that there is matter existing outside of our planets gobsmacks (I hate that word) me. This is why I would kill to go into space. I would pay any amount of money. I don't care. I have to do that swimmy thing on the moon. Anyone got a spare rocket?
Went back to school today. Wasn't as bad as I imagined. I feel I can do good and achieve but I will have to word hard. But later on I know I will get lazy. So I need to do my coursework now. But sometimes I think I have better things to be doing.

DEAR CHARLIE RICHARD WALKER ~

Apart from the last post, most of them have been quite depressing or horrible stories. Maybe I should explain. Infact I'll write it as a letter.

Dear Charlie,
A few weeks ago I split up with you. You said it would take a while for you to get over me. Now all of a sudden, you are texting this girl. (Not as mates.) It's barely two weeks.. If I hadn't split up with you, you would probably be still texting her even if we were still going out. This is what outrages me. I have a temper y'see. It's not jealousy, just the fact that you tried to make me jealous by boasting over blog posts and facebook. Even texting me about it. I don't care if you fuck her in a bush and get her pregnant - I hope you do, it will wreck your lives. But I hate the fact that you are doing this and I got so angry I had a go at you. Now you absolutely hate me, (I hate you more, I assure you.) And you've deleted me from your life, I still have one of your possessions, well you won't be getting that back anytime soon. So if you're reading this, cos this is the only form of communication I have with you, I'm sorry, but I don't mean it. I just wish things could go back to what they were. I was looking forward to Bruce's party. Come on, you even got your mum to delete me on facebook..

IMMENSE ~

I have bought some earrings - each earring says something different and you mix them to what you feel. They say Love, Happy, Sad, Hate. I would have worn the happy and love whilst out today but when I got home I was like urgh I need to wear the other pair!
I had such a great day today - slept over at Ashleigh's yesterday night and today me, Ashleigh, Amy and the other Amy went to York. We shopped and I spent an absolute fortune. But oh well, I'm babysitting tonight so I will earn some of it back. Had a great day, so much fun catching up with the girls!
Tomorrow I'm off to Alton Towers, should be absolutely immense!!

Wishes that the world would end - or someone would kill me - i dont have the guts to do it myself.

Then Hitler murdered them brutally.

There was once a lonely friendless girl who absolutely hated herself, she had no life. Everyone despised her very being. So one day she decided to hit everyone who she hated. The very last person she hit was the person who hated her the most. He shot her and killed her. He was very happy after that and married Thingy. They had ginger babies. They were horribly brattish and stank of shit. THE END.

STOP MOANING AND DO SOMETHING ~

I sit here wanting the hours to waste away then I curse myself, life is so short and unopredictable that you really shouldn't wish it away, every boring second can be merged into something else if you really wanted. I hate people who moan that they're bored, YES I AM BORED RIGHT NOW. But I'm not moaning on.
I also despise people who try to be better than everyone. I don't care about whatever new object you've bought, or what girlfriend/boyfriend you have. I don't care about anything really tbh. It's hard to make me jealous really, cos I got everything I want, ok I'm not rich, I'm single, I don't have the best clothes. But I'm not dying, I'm not extremely poor. And I get the best holidays in creation, I'm clever, I've got great friends, I'm ok looking and I'm stick thin. Yeah you want my life. Now you hate me cos I'm boasting. See my point?
I had a dream that I had a pet donkey called Wentworthly, I wish it was true.
Last night I went to badminton, it was great fun! I feel like I really fit in with the Dyson's. I felt sorry for mum who had to help Lucy cos she couldn't hit the shuttlecock. But oh well, I got a good game, and I did quite well if I say so myself! Then we went back to their house and looked at some very funny photos of us in Mexico! It was hilarious.
Anyways I think I've written quite a bit for today, don't you?
P.S I love zombie films.

YES IT'S ABOUT YOU ~

Growing slightly tired of the endless conflict. No, I'm not jealous. Nothing you can do or say will make me jealous, so stop trying. I'm the best, better than you. My life - you just can't beat it.

DAY OUT. ~

Don't you love bank holidays? Everyone's off and happy. They could do to be in term time though.. Been out all day, in the beautiful sunshine, got in a mood a few times but hey - that's life!
Walked round the walls and went to this random park place, the reason for my mood, cos I cannot stand parks, full of noisy brats who cry just cos they fell off the roundabout.

Anyways here's some of my photos -



The rest won't upload..

VIVID DREAMS. ~

I watched Slum Dog Millionaire last night and I can't really remember but I think the people off it were in my dream. I don't know what's happening to me but I keep having really vivid dreams, last night I dreamt that I kept needing loads of wees but the only toilet was in the middle of a busy field, so I kept having to go in front of everyone. It was strange.
My mind works in weird ways..
Been on the first bike ride in ages.. Woo, I'm gunna sort myself out, and I mean it this time, I may have had coco pops for breakfast and ate a few more biscuits for lunch, but I'm exercising, I feel really fat and I know I'm not, I don't have an eating disorder but I need to exercise!
I took some photos of my Crayolas cos I love them so:

AFRAID. ~

Last night I had the most beautiful dream - it in all rights should have been a nightmare, but it was too moving or is eccentric the right word?

The field's grass moves gently in the breeze, the sky is turning the slightest colour of mauve. The fear is unmovable, it cannot be erased. The house it stands there alone in this wilderness - it is the centre of all attention. For the wrong reasons.

The next part is a blur. So I'll skip a bit. I know the story, I know I was with someone which I think was male.
But basically I was in a field in the middle of nowhere on the edge of a dark forest and anything that entered this man's garden was killed and he ate it for tea. It sounds humourous but really it was poignant. I remember running away - I never actually saw his face. But I remember the midnight black horse's face... The fear in it's eyes made me turn around. Then I woke up..

I could turn this into a story y'know!

OMG OMG OMG OMG. ~

Last night I was estatic, we're off on holiday with the Dyson's next year AGAIN! WOO!!!! This is the best news, this means that my best friend Josh (LOL) is coming and I GET TO ASK A FRIEND.
I couldn't ask for more, another holiday of a lifetime? Bring it on.
I would give up coco pops to do this every year.

A LOOK INTO THE PAST. ~

A year on and I will know my GCSE results. Woah, scary.
I printed off some pictures, wanna see some?

My little sister, Lucy.

(L to R) Amy Tomlinson, Amy Barnett, ME, Ashleigh Smith.

Me being attacked by Amy.

Trying to pull an alien face and suceeding. (Yes, it's me.)

Me (at the front) and Amy Barnett.

Me stuffing buns down my face.

Ashleigh and I before our outing.

Ashleigh on the tree swing!

I really hate it when blogger makes the quality go bad, I mean, these are perfect but they look all blurry, it's silly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ~

4 days ago my blog became 6 months old, happy half birthday bloggy!
The past two nights I have had 4 really good dreams, I wanna know what they mean, but the things on the internet are useless.
I have tumblr but all the good pictures I have I got off there.. Hmm, no one even follows me, so I just abandon it.. Poor me.
LA LA LA, I'm just trundling through life atm. Not much going on so bye!
I can't even be bothered to find a nice picture, see you all soon!

TA RA ~

As I sit here playing "This is the life" on my guitar. I think, no it is not. In this month I have already said that quote, and that was whilst I was lazing in an extremely comfortable hammock in the blazing hot sun.
Tomorrow I'm gunna pull myself together, I'm gunna get up, wash my face and brace the world with what I can offer. I'm gunna make my feet pound on the road as I run, I'm going to wear my tyres down on my bike whilst I peddle AND I'M GOD DAMN IT NOT GUNNA EAT NO MORE BOURBONS! Well maybe one.
Ta ra. (Btw us English lot really do not say that.)

WHO ATE ALL THE PIES? ~

So, my mum has this idea that by this week we should be up by 10, then next week like 9, so we can get used to going back to school in like I think it's 2 weeks. OMG. I can't deal with this.
Besides, I have a life theory, there is actually point in getting up. Since I am sitting here pointlessly writing to no one cos it isn't interesting, but I have to do something to keep me occupied. Though if asked "Would you like to shorten your summer holidays?" I would be like. OMG YOU ARE SICK IN THE MIND.
There is only so long I can brush my teeth for before they bleed, so I need to find something to do. Something exhilarating, something intriguing. Something exciting, something new. Ok, if the weathers good tomorrow, I'm going for a run. I love running yet I haven't done it in ages. Why not? Cos I'm a lazy shit.
WE RAN OUT OF BOURBONS!!!!!!!! (Cos I ate them all.)